Kurt and Rachel's encounter on Omegle
by RepriseOurRoles
Summary: This is not proper literature, just a chat in character as Kurt and Rachel on Omegle. Though, I think it's a must for Faberry shippers, Kurt and Rachel friendship lovers, and those who like Omegle.


**I do not own Glee or Omegle. While this isn't exactly literature, it is amazing.  
All I am is a crazy girl who goes on Omegle. **

**Please enjoy the Kurt/Rachel friendship, Faberry filled, and Klaine sprinkled piece of epic. **

**You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!**

**Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.**

**You:** Kurt?

**Stranger:** Rachel?

**You:** Yes. It is Rachel Berry.

**You:** Gold star for you, Kurt!

**Stranger:** What are you doing up so late, Rachel? It is terrible for your skin!

**You:** It has come to my attention, after snooping in your locker

**You:** That you have a picture of a boy from Dalton academy in there.

**Stranger:** Don't you dare send Blaine to a crackhouse!

**You:** Please, elaborate on this. All we asked you to do was spy.

**Stranger:** active or otherwise

**You:** You are dating him! I am the daughter of 2 gay dads.

**You:** My gay senses are tingling!

**Stranger:** You dated that fashionably challenged St. James! This is no different!

**You:** Jesse was LA chic!

**You:** And look what he did to me in the end!

**Stranger:** More like dumpster chic

**Stranger:** Blaine would never!

**You:** He broke my heart.

**Stranger:** You deserved it after that Run Joey Run debacle

**You:** Kurt, I am your friend now. I don't want to see you heart

**You:** broken

**You:** DID NOT!

**Stranger:** If you don't want to see me heart broken you will keep this to yourself.

**You:** All of the great starts need a tarnished image.

**Stranger:** God, the last time you knew a secret Quinn ended up homeless!

**You:** I'm Rachel Berry. When do I ever keep anything to myself?

**You:** That was all your doing!

**You:** You made Finn sing that song! You were in love with him!

**Stranger:** Rachel, can I ask you something?

**Stranger:** It's personal.

**You:** Go ahead, Kurt. I'm always, almost honest.

**Stranger:** Are you in love with Quinn?

**Stranger:** I've been hearing things...

**You:** I AM NOT A LESBIAN! I AM IN LOVE WITH FINN! JUST BECAUSE I HAVE QUINN'S NAME IN HEARTS ON MY BINDER. IT MEANS NOTHING!

**You:** And if someone caught us in the restroom...

**You:** She wanted to know if her lipgloss tasted good

**You:** And it did.

**Stranger:** Rachel! You and Quinn have been doing the nasty in the school bathrooms?

**You:** I don't want my dads to know! My god! A whole family of gays? Can you imagine?

**You:** I won't end up on Broadway like that, Kurt! I'll end up on Oprah!

**Stranger:** Isn't this convenient. We each know a secret about each other

**You:** You won't tell... Will you?

**Stranger:** As nice as it would be to have another openly homosexual in Lima, I would never do that to you, Rachel.

**Stranger:** Not after you showed me that I really wasn't alone.

**You:** I promise I won't tell anyone about Blaine, either.

**You:** I guess the gay-lesball really is in effect now.

**Stranger:** I should have known something was up when you suggested that

**You:** I have never been the subtle type, huh?

**Stranger:** Quinn isn't either. Do you know how many times in the last week I have caught her looking at your barely there breasts?

**Stranger:** 17

**Stranger:** 17, Rachel!

**Stranger:** Get her under control.

**You:** And do you know how often I catch you smiling at texts on your phone or looking at Dalton boy's picture?

**You:** Too many to count!

**Stranger:** I really like him

**Stranger:** It's different than it was with Finn

**Stranger:** This isn't just a crush

**You:** I love Quinn, too.

**Stranger:** Plus have you seen him? The boy is gorgeous

**Stranger:** How long have you been with Quinn?

**You:** I am bisexual, partial to girls, remember?

**You:** Ever since this summer.

**You:** Once she had her baby she and I started hanging out, and one thing led to another...

**Stranger:** Wait

**Stranger:** She is the mother of your sister

**Stranger:** Doesn't that make you related somehow?

**Stranger:** Isn't your relationship slightly incestuous?

**You:** Adopted! Shelby adopted Beth!

**You:** We share no blood! Don't make this gross for me, Kurt.

**Stranger:** It's just weird!

**Stranger:** Not many people can say they are sleeping with their sister's mommy

**Stranger:** It will be a good chapter for your memoir

**You:** Eh, it's Lima. I'm mostly lesbian.

**You:** And you know, Kurt. You are right.

**You:** This will sell

**Stranger:** I can see the headlines now. Broadway Great Rachel Berry Married to Baby Sister's Mother

**Stranger:** Assuming Quinn doesn't do to you what she did to Finn

**You:** I could write a whole book: Gold stars: Rachel Berry's Romantic and lesbian relationship with Quinn Fabrey

**You:** She would never!

**Stranger:** I'm sure Finn said the same thing...

**You:** Well, I'm sure Blaine hasn't broken any gay little hearts at Dalton. He won't break yours.

**Stranger:** Rachel, don't be snarky.

**Stranger:** I am only concerned about you

**You:** And I about you. That's why I looked in your locker!

**Stranger:** I like Quinn, she's a good friend, but I don't want her breaking your heart.

**Stranger:** I can see you having some sort of mental breakdown

**Stranger:** You won't be able to reach the broadway stage from a padded room, Rachel!

**You:** I have a shrink in my guest room

**You:** If I ever have a mental break down it will be in the comfort of my own home.

**Stranger:** Wait a second

**Stranger:** Rachel!

**Stranger:** My Barbra magnet has been missing...

**Stranger:** Did you steal it when you were in my locker?

**You:** I might have...

**You:** IT'S A COLLECTORS ITEM!

**Stranger:** I KNOW THAT's WHY I BOUGHT IT

**Stranger:** I sat up all night bidding on ebay for that

**You:** I have been looking forever on eBay for one! I was in a bidding war once over it...

**You:** WAIT A MINUTE... You don't think?

**Stranger:** I should've known. your name on there wouldn't happen to be gldstrbarbra, would it?

**You:** Yes... Yes, it was. And you were up against gagabeyocek?

**Stranger:** Yes, you are correct.

**You:** Wow. We really are a like.

**Stranger:** Why weren't we friends before?

**Stranger:** Probably had something to do with your pantsuits.

**You:** And your crush on Finn.

**Stranger:** Please don't remind me of those horrid days.

**You:** Also the silly little diva off indecent.

**Stranger:** Speaking of, I saw you girls practicing your mash up

**Stranger:** We are totally going to beat you

**You:** Please! We are going full out rock and roll. In leather.

**You:** Mr. Schue in his borderline pedophile way will love it.

**Stranger:** Mr. Schuester may be distracted by you girls clad in leather. But, my group has winning at our first priority

**You:** Oh, really? What are you boys performing?

**Stranger:** Us boys clad in adorable blazers and bow ties will certainly garner his attention as well. I made sure our pants hug our bottoms just so

**You:** You would know about how to dress teenage boys to attract men.

**Stranger:** We will be doing a lovely rendition of Stop In the Name of Love and Free your Mind. Far better song choices

**You:** Since you SPIED on us, you know we are going full out rock with a feminine edge with Livin' On a Prayer and Start Me Up.

**You:** It is very theatrical.

**Stranger:** We don't feel the need to hide behind theatrics

**Stranger:** Your girlfriend looks like a pirate.

**Stranger:** Santana looks like some sort of biker chick gone wrong

**You:** A sexy pirate!

**You:** And Santana chose her own outfit. I think it suits her quite well.

**Stranger:** You only say that because you don't want her to slushie you

**Stranger:** What is going on with her and Brittany?

**You:** Hmph.

**You:** Ohhh, Quinn gave me all the details on that one.

**Stranger:** Do share

**You:** It turns out Britt and Santana are best friends with 'benefits', well, Brittany wants to be more than that

**Stranger:** Poor Brit.

**Stranger:** I made out with her once

**You:** Quinn says that Britt has called out to Santana in the Cheerios showers saying "I want to make lady babies with you!"

**You:** Was it the week you dressed like a lumberjack?

**Stranger:** Yes.

**Stranger:** Are you aware of Santana and Finn's...history?

**You:** ...History? I know Finn went on a date with both Santana and Brittany once.

**Stranger:** Santana took his v-card in that dingy hotel across from the 7-11

**You:** Oh My Gosh... Well, good thing that I am truly in love with Quinn, and not that moronic Finn.

**Stranger:** Finn is a moron. He never stood up for you. When the other Glee members antagonized you

**Stranger:** You seem to be the only member of Glee who is bullied by members within our group

**You:** He really is. What did we ever see in him?

**You:** They are just jealous of my talent and star qualities.

**Stranger:** He was the first boy to show us any kind of attention.

**Stranger:** As your friend, I should have said something when Mercedes told you she wanted to put you in a jar.

**You:** He was the hot male lead...

**You:** You should have. Your friend particularly seems to hate me. Why does Mercedes hate me, Kurt?

**Stranger:** I think you're right about the jealousy thing.

**Stranger:** Mercedes singing abilities, while good, are very limited. She lacks your vocal range.

**You:** She needs to stick with the R&B and soul stuff. That is her mode.

**You:** Just like Finn and soft rock.

**You:** You and I, however, we are the most talented in the club. I do believe if we worked hard enough we could sing anything we want.

**You:** And treasure what I just said. Rachel Berry does not give out complements like that everyday.

**Stranger:** Yes, we could. Not everyone can have our talent. It would be unfair for us to expect the rest of the Glee Club to do the same

**Stranger:** I will put it in my memoir.

**Stranger:** Rachel I just realized something

**You:** What?

**Stranger:** If you are in love with Quinn, why are you letting Finn caress your boobs?

**Stranger:** At least Quinn had the decency to turn Sam down for a kiss. But you!

**Stranger:** I should have been worried about you cheating, not Quinn!

**You:** If there was such a thing as a gay beard for a lesbian, Finn is mine.

**You:** It's all for the image, and to keep him in the relationship.

**You:** He is such a horny teenage boy.

**Stranger:** There is no reason for your gay beard to touch your boobs during hot and heavy make out sessions

**You:** Think of it this way, what did you do to keep Brittany that you were straight? You did things to make her happy, right?

**You:** It's like that with Finn.

**Stranger:** I suppose that makes sense

**Stranger:** I can't imagine Quinn being too fond of that though

**You:** She understands. She wants me to end it with Finn, though.

**You:** And now that I know of the whole Santana thing, I think I may have fuel to do so.

**Stranger:** Just don't cause a big scene about it, I swear if Sectionals gets messed up because of it, I will not be happy.

**You:** I promise. This year I will try and keep Sectionals as drama free as I can. Even if I love drama.

**Stranger:** Good. I know you like to use every situation as an acting exercise.

**You:** Well, Kurt. The diva needs her sleep.

**Stranger:** Goodnight, Rachel. See you at school tomorrow

**You:** This was a very productive convorsation.


End file.
